


Perfectly Balanced

by doctorkilljoy



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pining, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 13:17:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14473539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorkilljoy/pseuds/doctorkilljoy
Summary: An unexpected ally appears, with a plan to put things right.SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR!





	Perfectly Balanced

**Author's Note:**

> So I came out of Infinity War with a lot of feelings. I wrote this in about a day and it's not beta read so please forgive any errors. My hats off to thebunnyboss who had the idea about a certain character who shall remain nameless, which really started this whole thing.
> 
>  
> 
> **Repeat, this contains spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War.**

It had been an hour since the snap, and they’d gathered in the palace of Wakanda to regroup. They needed a list, of people who were… Steve couldn’t let himself think of it. So many good people lost, and worst of all was losing Bucky again. Steve wondered why destiny enjoyed ripping he and Bucky apart.

The Wakandans had left them in a conference room, while Okoye and M’Baku saw to Shuri. The princess wasn’t hurt, at least not physically. But during the snap, she had lost her brother and mother, which left her alone. It also made Shuri queen of Wakanda, and both Okoye and M’Baku wanted to be sure they could protect her. Steve didn’t blame them.

Rocket was taking it hard and had declared he was going to find a bar and drink himself stupid. Steve didn’t try to stop him and felt a bit bad for doing so. He knew that if he could get drunk, he would do the same thing.

Which left Steve, Bruce, Natasha, Rhodey, and Thor gathered together. They were looking at readouts of data on a hologram, people who were gone now because of the snap.

“Is there any way we can get a list of enhanced individuals still in play?” Steve asked.

“Hard to tell,” Natasha replied. “Some are registered through the Sokovian Accords. Others are remaining hidden because of those same Accords. Reports are still coming in and they’re difficult to verify.”

Steve was about to reply when someone spoke. Someone that he wouldn’t have expected in a hundred years.

“Hello, brother.”

They turned around, and Steve was sure he’d never been so surprised in his life.

“Please tell me I’m seeing things,” said Rhodey, and Natasha shook her head.

“Not unless I am too.”

Thor stepped forward, still haggard from the battle. He stared at Loki, and asked, “Is it really you, brother?”

“You mean you can’t tell?” Loki asked, and there was amusement in his voice.

Thor scowled, and for a minute, Steve thought he was going to punch Loki. Instead, he grabbed Loki and pulled him into a hug. They held each other, and when Thor pulled away he asked, “How did you survive?”

“I’m Jotun, brother,” said Loki. “And what would heal a frost giant better than the cold vacuum of space?”

“Wait, how do you heal having a broken neck?” Asked Bruce.

“It wasn’t a broken neck, Thanos crushed my throat,” Loki told him, gesturing to his neck.

“That makes even less sense!” Bruce insisted but was ignored. Thor looked so happy, and Steve could hardly blame him. As much trouble as Loki had given them all, he knew how much Thor loved his brother.

“How did you get here?” Thor asked.

At this, Loki actually looked insulted. “Can I, or can I not, walk between the realms?”

Thor laughed and hugged him again. He then turned to the rest of the room and said, “We have hope, my friends.”

Steve blinked at that, it didn’t seem to make any sense. “How?”

“Loki’s magic is powerful,” Thor assured them. “We may be able to defeat Thanos and reverse the snap.”

“With him?” Natasha said, tone scornful.

“I have a plan,” Loki told her, a smirk on his face.

“Oh we are doomed,” Bruce muttered.

“Let’s hear him out,” said Steve, surprising himself. Loki was the most slippery person that Steve had ever met. If there was even a chance of defeating Thanos they needed to take it. And if they could reverse the snap, that meant…

Loki was facing them, his expression serious. “I’ve reached out to Valkyrie, she’ll be bringing the half of the Asgardians who are still alive here to Earth. They’ll need refuge.” He looked at Steve.

“We can speak with Shuri about that,” Steve replied.

“She’ll also be picking up the survivors from Titan,” he said, and Bruce gulped.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked.

“The Iron Man and others attempted to wrest the gauntlet from Thanos,” Loki explained. “Unfortunately, only he and one other survived.”

“Tony’s alive?” Rhodey asked, relief clear in his voice.

“He is,” said Loki. “We’ll have enough time that we can put together a force to be reckoned with. If we can take the gauntlet from Thanos, we can wield it to undo everything. We’d have infinite power.”

“Whoa, hey, I’m not on board with that,” Natasha said.

“Yeah I’m kind of uncomfortable with you having infinite power,” Bruce told him honestly.

Loki smirked at them. “I am tempted, but I won’t be using the gauntlet.”

“Then who’d you have in mind?” Steve asked.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “You, Captain.”

For a moment, Steve didn’t comprehend it. But once it hit him, he said dumbly, “Me?”

“Of course. My brother can’t wield it and use Stormbreaker at the same time, it would rend the cosmos in twain,” Loki explained. “I understand you don’t trust me to do so. I can think of no one else who has the physical constitution necessary to use it.”

Bruce, Rhodey, and Natasha were now looking at Steve too, and Natasha was the first to speak. “He’s right. You’re enhanced to be the pique of human physicality.”

“And you’ve got a moral compass that’s… Aggravating, sometimes,” Rhodey added.

“I’m sure Thor--” He started, but Thor cut him off.

“Loki is right. The two objects together would bring chaos and do even more harm. It must be you, Captain.”

Steve wanted to deny it, say that he couldn’t. He was compromised because of Bucky, but he also knew this was bigger than them. So he nodded, and said, “I’ll do it.”

“Wonderful. Now, I’ll need to find a quiet room,” said Loki.

“Why? Need some alone time?” Natasha asked.

He gave her a considering look. “In a manner of speaking. We need a force, as I said.”

“And how do you propose we get one?” She had her arms crossed over her stomach.

“I will need to traverse to the realm of the veil,” he told them.

“You… What?” Rhodey said, eyebrows knit in confusion.

“I will slip into the twilight realm, and return those we’ve lost. Warriors who would help us in the fight against Thanos.” Loki suddenly looked quite serious. “Those who were taken in the snap are… Misplaced. They’re caught in between the space between the living world, and the realm of the dead. I can guide them back.”

“You can do that?” Bruce, Natasha, and Rhodey said in unison.

Thor laughed. “Of course! How long will it take?”

Loki thought about it, and then said, “I will need a day for each person.”

“That… Is going to take a long time,” said Bruce.

“Yes, but it’s a solid plan,” Steve said. He turned to Loki. “All right, get started. Natasha, give him a list of casualties.”He then looked at Rhodey. “Get on the line with Ross, assuming he’s still alive. Find out how many enhanced we have left. Anyone who might be able to help, get them on a plan and get them here. I’ll talk with Shuri about setting up operations.”

“This is insane,” Bruce mumbled.

“Yes, but it’s all we have,” Thor said.

“Bruce,” Steve said, pulling him aside. “I need you to talk with the Hulk, see if you can convince him to come back. We need all the strength we can get, and he’s a heavy hitter.”

Bruce looked a little green, but not in an angry way. However, he did nod, and said, “I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you,” said Steve. He then went to Thor. “Get to that ship, make sure that Tony knows what the plan is.”

Thor hefted up Stormbreaker, and said, “It will be done, Captain.”

Everyone had a job and went to do it. Everyone but Steve. He sat down again, heart racing. Loki could bring people back? Did that mean he could bring back Bucky? He wanted to beg Loki to bring him back first. But he felt greedy and selfish for it, and perhaps he was. Even knowing that Loki could bring him back didn’t ease the pain he felt.

Steve got up and went to find Rocket. He couldn’t get drunk, but he could still drink.

It was dark when Loki came back, and there was a familiar figure with him. Rocket was still tipsy, but Steve had managed to convince him to stop when he threw up the second time. The first time, Rocket insisted was because he was congested. Steve had allowed him that one, but two times was really too much.

They were seated on the steps of the palace when Loki approached. He looked tired like he’d run for an entire day. His head was held high, and he looked pretty smug. When Rocket cried out, Steve couldn’t help but think that Loki had every right to be.

“GROOT!” Rocket yelled, getting up. He stumbled a bit, but then ran to his friend.

“I am Groot,” he said, patting Rocket on the back.

“I know you were! I saw you!” He replied.

Steve looked at Loki, and said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He was smirking again.

“Another one tomorrow?” Steve asked, and Loki nodded.

“Of course. Though, I do find that I’m famished. Would you be so kind as to show me to the kitchens, Captain?”

“Follow me.”

They left Rocket sobbing, while Groot tried to calm him down. Steve would probably do the same when Loki brought Bucky back. He led Loki inside and hoped that Bucky would be the next to return. He wouldn’t find out until tomorrow.

* * *

 He woke the next morning with hope, but he also had his hands full. He was working with Shuri and M’Baku to arrange transports. Rhodey had managed to contact Ross’s office, and no one was overly surprised to find that Ross was gone. It was made worse by Natasha’s report that both Maria Hill and Nick Fury were gone as well.

However, through Natasha’s network, or at least what was left of it. They’d managed to locate more individuals to help with the fight against Thanos. On their way now were three New Yorkers, two men and a woman, whom she said would make “a significant impact.” One man had unbreakable skin, the other was a sorcerer. The woman had super strength and flight, though Natasha had warned, “Jessica can get a bit prickly. Also, don’t touch her booze.” Another was a man coming from California who could make metal melt. His name was Joey Gutierrez, and he had previously worked with SHIELD.

There were more, but Steve couldn’t keep track of them all. At one point, he’d asked Natasha, “How do you know all of these people?”

She smiled her little smile, and said, “I don’t, not personally.”

Steve didn’t ask any more questions. As it was, he had a busy day ahead. He’d seen Loki early in the morning and wished him luck in regards to his next attempt. Loki had shrugged it off but had a pleased expression on his face. Steve thought it was almost cute. His heart fluttered, hoping that Bucky would be the next one.

His day was long, though at points it was hard for him to focus. Sometimes, he would glance behind himself, to see if Loki had finished. Natasha noticed but was wise enough not to say anything. It was just past sunset this time when Loki returned. Just as the previous day, exhaustion clung to Loki.

Shuri gasped, and shrieked, “Brother!” And indeed, T’Challa entered the room moments later. Shuri threw herself at him, hugging him tightly. T’Challa looked a little shaky, but he caught his sister, then looked at Steve.

“Captain,” he greeted, and Steve nodded.

“Your Highness,” he replied.

Loki didn’t linger, he left the room. Steve assumed it was to eat or rest. Steve couldn’t help feeling disappointed. But seeing Shuri in tears as she hugged her brother, and T’Challa lifting her up and spinning her around. it was a welcome sight. Steve excused himself, to give the siblings some privacy.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Steve muttered to himself.

But it wasn’t the next day. Loki returned, with a distraught Wanda in tow. He was happy to see Wanda again. And it was helpful to have someone with her kind of power on their team. Wanda however, was still heartbroken over Vision. His body had been moved to Shuri’s lab. The princess had promised she was doing everything she could to bring him back.

“I have much of him saved in my databanks,” Shuri told Wanda. “But it will take time.”

“Thank you,” Wanda said quietly. She had been crying, but wiped at her face and asked Steve, “What do you need me to do?”

“Train,” Steve replied. “Work with your powers and hopefully we can destroy more of the Infinity Stones.”

Loki had disappeared again. Steve had noticed that he’d returned right before sunset this time but looked even more worn than before. Steve thought he should say something, but also didn’t think that it was his place. Instead, he helped Wanda to get settled. Wong had arrived earlier in the day and said he would assist Wanda with her training.

He thought again, maybe tomorrow, but didn’t dare speak it aloud. Steve didn’t want to jinx it. But the next day, he was a little disappointed, but still pleased when Loki came back with Sam. He looked shaken, and Steve immediately pulled him in for a hug. While he’d been tormented by Bucky, he felt even worse when he realized that Sam had been alone when he’d died.

Loki had escorted him right to Steve but didn’t say a word. Sam was trembling and squeezed Steve so hard he was surprised he didn’t pop something. He patted him on the back and asked, “You need a drink?”

“I need an entire bar,” Sam replied.

“Come on,” he said. They went back to Steve’s quarters, where Steve had a bottle of bourbon stashed. It was supposed to be for Bucky, but Steve could see that Sam needed it more. Sam had collapsed onto the couch and covered his face with his hands. Steve poured him a drink and asked, “Are you all right?”

“How the hell am I supposed to be all right?” Sam asked. Steve didn’t respond, instead waiting for Sam to speak. He moved his hands away from his face and grabbed the tumbler of bourbon. “It was weird. It was like… Walking around in a fog. I kept calling for people. You, Natasha, even Barnes. Mostly I called for my mom.”

His voice cracked at that, and Steve squeezed his shoulder. “Did anyone answer you?” He asked before he could stop himself. He felt awful, but he was desperate for news of Bucky.

Sam shook his head. “Nah, everything echoed. Sometimes, I thought I did hear someone nearby. Not their voice, just… Footsteps. But when I’d head in that direction I’d never find anything. I thought I was crazy, or maybe I was in hell.”

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” Steve said and meant it. It was horrible thinking of Bucky in that situation, but he had to put it out of his mind. Sam needed him, and Steve wanted to help.

“It was crazy,” Sam continued. “I felt like I walked for years. But I didn’t get hungry, or thirsty, or tired. Sometimes I’d stop and rest, but all I’d do was get bored. And then I saw a sort of glow. And it turned out to be that crazy guy with the horns from New York. I almost didn’t go with him.”

“Wait, really?” Steve said, surprised.

“Hell no! You kidding me? I thought if I saw him it was a bad sign! But he talked me into it, said we had a plan to stop Thanos,” said Sam. He took a gulp from the tumbler.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. But Loki’s working on getting more people for us,” Steve told him.

Sam asked, “Who’s left? I mean, who do we have?” Steve told him, and Sam let out a low whistle. “That’s not a lot.”

“I know. But we’ll get more. Thor and Tony are coming with reinforcements,” said Steve.

He finished his drink, then said, “I’m sorry about Barnes.”

“Me too,” Steve mumbled. “We shouldn’t have asked him.”

“What?” Sam asked.

“T’Challa and I. We asked Bucky to come back to help us fight,” Steve replied. “He was working on a goat farm here in Wakanda. Shuri had managed to cure him ages ago. I knew we’d need back up, and T’Challa and I agreed we would need him.”

“Steve, hey, don’t blame yourself,” Sam said. “He made the choice for himself. It’s not like staying out of the way would have kept him safe.”

He sighed. “I know, I know you’re right. And I know that I shouldn’t be saying any of this, not after what you went through.”

“Yeah, your timing sucks,” Sam admitted with a wry smile. Steve huffed a laugh.

“It does.”

Sam poured himself another drink, and as he sipped it, asked, “What do you want me to do?”

“I need you to help Rhodey with the preparations. Getting people here, making sure everyone has some kind of training. I know we have a couple brawlers with us and we need to whip them into shape.”

“You got it, Cap. But not right now okay? I need a nap,” said Sam, and Steve nodded.

“You want to crash here or your own room?”

“Here’s fine, leave the bottle.”

Steve smiled at that and went to his bedroom. He was sad there was no news of Bucky. And now he wasn’t so sure that tomorrow would be the day that Bucky would come back. He knew he would at some point, but he was disappointed that it hadn’t happened yet. Steve had to focus on the mission.

* * *

And so it went. Each day, Steve coordinated the others so that they could pool their resources. Steve organized training regimens, battle strategies, and the like. And each day, he would keep himself busy until Loki returned. And when he didn’t come back with Bucky, that was when Steve would excuse himself for the rest of the day.

It didn’t escape anyone’s notice, but no one dared to say anything until Tony arrived. He was greeted by Peter Parker, who’d been brought back a week after Loki had started looking for people. Tony and Peter spent an hour together, and there were definitely raised voices. Steve thought he even heard Tony crying. But by that evening they were thick as thieves, Tony teasing Peter who in turn would frown and stutter. If Steve didn't know any better, he'd swear that Peter was Tony's son.

Loki had returned again, this time with a man calling himself Star-Lord. He and Tony glared at each other but otherwise didn’t speak. Steve didn’t bother asking, instead, he went back to his room. He stared out the window, the setting sun lighting up Wakanda in green and gold and pink. It was beautiful, and he thought of how much Bucky had loved it there.

“What’s with the Jon Snow routine?”

Steve looked up to see that Tony had let himself in. He turned his gaze back to the window and said, “Wouldn’t that be more your thing? I’m not a Stark.”

“Neither is he, which sorry that was a spoiler. But still, yay that you got a pop culture reference,” Tony replied and sat next to Steve. “You look pretty down in the dumps.”

“I’m fine,” Steve said, and Tony snorted.

“Sure you are, which is why you’re hiding out here and brooding,” he said with an eye roll.

“I’ve got a lot on my mind. We have a mission and no solid plan. Just the hope that if we throw enough at Thanos we can get the gauntlet and reverse what was done,” said Steve.

“And I’m sure that’s the only reason.” Tony leaned forward and said, “Nothing to do with the one-armed man still being MIA?”

Steve clenched his hand into a fist but did his best not to rise to the bait. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Tony sighed. “So you’re really going to be difficult about this? Fine. Stop being a chicken shit and just ask Loki to bring Bucky back.”

“I can’t do that.” Steve stood and walked over to the window. He was gripping his belt buckle with both hands.

“Why not?” Tony asked, then said, “And don’t say because it wouldn’t be fair.”

“It wouldn’t be,” he insisted.

Tony scoffed. “What’s fair at this point? Was it fair that Strange died? Was it fair that the kid died in my arms?” He sounded angry, and that made Steve turn around to face him.

“Of course not. But--”

“Don’t you dare say it’s not the same,” he hissed.

“It’s much worse for you!” Steve insisted.

“We know how you feel about Barnes!” Tony yelled, and Steve’s jaw dropped.

“I don’t know--”

Tony rolled his eyes again. “Cap, I don’t know if you know this, but you’re not exactly subtle when it comes to feelings. You wear them on your sleeve and they’re even more obvious when you’re around Barnes. Everyone and their mother knows you love him. Everyone except maybe Barnes.”

Steve wanted to deny it, say that it wasn’t true. He wasn’t ashamed of his feelings for Bucky, not at all. Bucky had been through hell and back four or five times over, and he didn’t need Steve mooning over him to make it worse. Tony took his silence as an answer, and stood up and walked towards Steve.

“Just ask him. Or I’ll do it, and I’ll do it in the most embarrassing way possible,” Tony threatened, and it made Steve laugh.

“All right, fine, I’ll ask him. Happy?”

“Only if you’ll go now,” he said.

Steve sighed and went to the door. He held it open and said, “Fine. Get out of my room, Stark.”

“Yes sir, Captain America sir!” Tony replied, tossing Steve what was possibly the worst salute he’d ever seen.

Once he’d left his quarters, it wasn’t long before he found Loki. He was in one of the common areas, drinking wine and reading a book. He looked up when Steve came in, and said, “Good evening, Captain.”

“Loki,” he said, and sat across from him.

“Can I help you?” Loki closed his book and placed his wine on the coffee table.

“I had a favor to ask you.” Steve internally winced. He shouldn’t have phrased it that way, he knew.

“Which is?”

Steve opened one of the packs on his belt and took out an old picture. It was from Bucky’s USSR file, and he’d held on to it since Natasha had given it to him. He handed the picture to Loki. “His name is James Buchanan Barnes, everyone calls him Bucky. He was…” He trailed off, his throat was tight when he thought of it. “He was the first, after the snap. I’m wondering if you can find him tomorrow.”

Loki stared at the picture, then handed it back. “I’m sorry Captain, but I cannot.”

“Why?” Asked Steve, his heart falling into his stomach.

“The method I use is to walk between the realms. While I do what I can to find specific people, I can’t swoop in and pick whomever I please,” Loki explained. He gave Steve an apologetic look.

Steve sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I thought as much. Thank you anyway.” He got up to leave, but Loki spoke.

“I will try,” Loki said. “I may not succeed, but I will try.” Steve nodded and left.

When he was back in his own room, Steve’s heart hurt, and tears stung his eyes. He didn’t say it or think it this time like he had every day. That maybe tomorrow would be the day that he would see Bucky again. It only got worse from there.

* * *

Loki brought back nearly everyone they lost. He even found Gamora, the daughter of Thanos. Steve had heard about her from Quill. And the tearful reunion between her and Star-Lord was something that touched everyone’s heart. Steve almost cried, but it wasn’t from joy. It was from jealousy. Tony and Sam were kind enough to pretend they didn’t notice.

And then Shuri announced that she had restored Vision. Wanda had been overcome, and she and Vision had retreated to have their reunion in private. He was happy for them, and some people even cheered. Natasha and Okoye particularly were thrilled for her. They shot Steve pitying looks, but Steve’s resolve was strengthened. There was no one else left, Bucky would have to return now. When Loki had departed, Steve waited in the common area for both of them to return.

He got a sinking feeling when Loki didn't show by sundown. Indeed, he didn't arrive until well past midnight. He looked even more drained than usual, and Thor was by his side at once. Steve was afraid to ask, but he had to. “Where’s Bucky?”

“I couldn’t find him,” said Loki. Thor handed him a glass of water.

“Are you certain? You could try again,” Thor said, but Loki shook his head.

“I searched everywhere I could. He eluded me,” Loki told them. He gulped down the water, then gasped. “I dare not make another attempt, I lingered too long as it was and my magic is depleted. I might not return if I were to repeat the spell.”

Steve swallowed past the lump in his throat, but he did what he could to suppress it. “Thanks for trying,” Steve said. “How long do you need before you get your magic back?”

“A day, perhaps two,” Loki said.

“Good,” he looked at Thor. “Take two days, then gather everything you’ll need. Then that’s when we’re leaving.”

Thor stood and walked towards Steve, asking, “Are you certain? He could still try--”

Steve shook his head. “No, we’re not wasting more time. We’re not the only ones who have lost people, and we can’t keep looking for one man. We get that gauntlet, we’ll get him back. We need to get on with the mission.”

Thor clapped Steve on the shoulder, and then said, “Truly, you are a good man Steve Rogers.”

He didn’t respond, he left the room. They had two days to get everything together, and he wanted to double check their resources. If they were going to fight Thanos for the gauntlet, nothing could go wrong. Steve had worked for over a month. With strategies galore, and contingency plans for his contingency plans. They were ready, but Steve still felt unprepared.

* * *

The battle had gone on for longer than Steve thought was possible. While Thanos had fought just as hard, he seemed somehow depleted. And when he saw Gamora, he gave up entirely. Thor had used Stormbreaker, and Thanos was dead. The gauntlet came off, and Steve picked it up. He could feel his pulse pounding in his ears, as the gauntlet resized itself to fit Steve’s hand. He took a deep breath and pulled it on.

The surge of energy that went through him was intense. Every nerve was on fire and then soothed. He could see everything at once but also felt blind. It was nearly too much for him, much like Project Rebirth had been so many years ago. But Steve’s hand balled into a fist, and he brought himself under control. He had the power of the Infinity Stones, and he could do anything.

He knew he should bring everyone back, he should undo the destruction that Thanos has wrought. But then, a jealous streak went through him. A deep, clawing desire, that he could satisfy here and now. Steve concentrated and used the time stone to freeze everything. He then opened a portal to the other world and reached in.

A hand gripped his own, and Steve pulled.

Bucky was standing there, shivering. His eyes were watering, and he was pale and gaunt. He looked around in confusion, and then said quietly, “Steve?”

Steve nodded and said, “Yeah, it’s me.”

He sighed with relief, and Steve pulled him into a hug. He did his best to comfort him, whispering, “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

They didn’t speak for the longest time. But finally, Bucky asked, “Is everyone okay?”

“They will be,” Steve replied and showed him the gauntlet.

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Steve, how did you--”

“I can explain later,” Steve said. “Right now though I should probably get everything back to normal.”

Steve took a deep breath, focusing his mental energy. He had to mentally envision what it had been like before Thanos had destroyed everything. Steve also had to be careful not to bring Thanos back, and start the whole problem all over again. Knowing he had Bucky back, it made it simple to reverse the damage.

When he opened his eyes, Steve was relieved to see everyone was together again. Tony cheered, and everyone was celebrating. Loki and Dr. Strange approached with Thor, and Steve immediately removed the gauntlet.

“Do your stuff,” Steve said, and Thor raised Stormbreaker.

The impact was blinding, and everyone was thrown off their feet. When the dust settled, the gauntlet was in pieces, and the Infinity Stones were gone.

“Where--?” Steve asked.

Dr. Strange said, “Scattered across the galaxy. With two exceptions.” He revealed that he was wearing the Time Stone once again, and gestured to Vision, who had the Mind Stone.

“So, that’s it?” Said Bucky. “It’s over?”

“Yeah, Buck, it’s over,” Steve told him. He was suddenly so tired he might drop right there.

* * *

It was a short trip back to Earth, thanks to Thor and Stormbreaker. Steve and Bucky chose to return to Wakanda with T’Challa, Okoye, and M’Baku. Bucky had a house there, on a farm. Steve was so tired that he could barely keep himself upright and had said he would stay the night there.

It was a very simple house. Bucky had said he was offered all the wondrous tech that Wakanda had, but that had wanted something simple. He preferred the rustic life, which M'Baku had found hilarious. He'd even offered Bucky a place in the mountains with the Jabari, but Bucky hadn't taken it as he didn't like the cold.

Steve and Bucky had things they needed to talk about. When they retreated to Bucky’s home, he said, “You know, Loki was looking for you. When you…”

“When I was dead?” Bucky asked. He was heating some goat’s milk and avoiding Steve’s gaze. It was dark, but Bucky had some candles lit and had a fire going.

“Yeah,” Steve said.

“I know he was,” said Bucky.

“You knew?” Steve couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice.

He nodded. “Yeah. I was avoiding him.”

“Jesus Buck, why?”

He took the pot off the stove, and gently poured the warm milk in a cup. He handed it to Steve and said, “You were sending him to get fighters to take on Thanos, right? I wouldn’t have been any use to you.”

Steve wanted to throw the cup, and demand to know why he would think anything so ridiculous. Instead, he said, “You still should have come back.”

“Why? I’m not any use to anyone. But Sam, Wanda? The rest? They were.” Bucky shrugged and sat in an armchair, some distance away from Steve.

“And how did you know they had died too?” Steve asked.

Bucky shifted a bit, guilt written all over his face. “I might have helped. Got them in the right place.”

Steve remembered what Sam had said, about hearing footsteps and following them. “You led them to Loki.” That left another question. “How did you manage it? Loki said he didn’t have any control in finding people in there. And Sam couldn’t see or hear anyone.”

He looked up, but not at Steve. He was staring at the wall. “Because I’ve been there before.”

He could feel himself going pale as he asked, “When?”

“When Hydra… I’ve been there before.” Bucky didn’t finish his sentence, he didn’t need to. Steve knew what he meant. Bucky’s life had been hell, and Loki had explained that it was a place that was between the living and the dead.

Steve gently put the cup down and stood up. He went to Bucky, knelt by him, and took his hand. “I’m so sorry,” Steve said, and Bucky shrugged.

“I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be!” He declared. He cradled Bucky’s face in his hands. “Bucky, please understand, you’re worth more than you think you are. The things you did because of Hydra, they aren’t your fault, and I know you. You wouldn’t do anything like that, not the real you. And I,” Steve stopped talking, as Bucky had finally looked at him. Steve saw that he was crying silently. Steve wiped one away with his thumb. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Bucky asked.

“For getting you mixed up in all this again. You were happy here, I should have--”

Bucky shook his head. “No, I would have come anyway. Even if I hadn’t been called.”

“I shouldn’t have put you in danger like that,” he insisted.

“I would have done it myself.” Bucky’s hand wrapped around Steve’s right wrist. He was still crying, and there was a sad smile on his face.

Steve laughed at that, his own fight to keep tears at bay making it sound harsh. “And you still don’t think you’re worth the trouble?” Bucky smiled at that and turned his head to kiss Steve’s palm. Steve’s heart leaped, and he suddenly felt light-headed. “I love you, Buck.”

“I love you too, Stevie,” he whispered. Bucky leaned down, and when their lips met, it was everything that Steve could have ever wanted.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, exchanging gentle touches and chaste kisses. It felt like forever, until Bucky said softly, “Your beard is kind of itchy.”

“You should talk!” Steve said with a laugh, pulling away.

“I’ll have you know, I don’t have a beard,” he said. “I have artful man scruff.”

“Please tell me that’s not something you got from Shuri.”

Bucky shrugged, and Steve laughed again. He stood up and held a hand out to Bucky, helping him to stand. He wrapped his arms around Bucky until they were in a tight embrace, and they were kissing again.

“I love you so much,” Steve said. “Don’t ever doubt it.”

“I know, and I love you too.”

“Do you know what I want to do with you now?” Asked Steve, in what he thought was his best sexy tone.

Bucky was smirking and he asked, “Sleep?”

Steve blushed and said, “Actually, yes.”

“Thought you might. C’mon I’ll tuck you in. Maybe I’ll even read you a bedtime story.”

They blew out the candles, put out the fire, and Bucky escorted him to the bedroom. Steve went to the bathroom to change into pajamas. When he came out, Bucky was already in bed. He held his hand out for Steve, and he took it. When they were curled up together, Bucky safely in his arms, he said, “This is how it should be. How it always should have been.”

“Kinda feels like everything’s starting to even out,” Bucky replied, and Steve smiled.

“It does.”

And together, they fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://talkingcinemalight.tumblr.com/)


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